birthdays

Without being completely pathetic about this I just wanted to kind of express my birthday dilemma. I love birthdays, I feel like they should be awesome and fun and stuff. But when it comes to my own birthday, the past several years haven't quite worked out the way I had originally hoped or imagined. I've had big plans each year, and I don't want to say I was let down, because in the end my family and few good friends were with me and thats what counts. But they weren't what I expected either. So I've kind of tried to stop setting up expectations and this year is the first year I've been putting that into affect. Right now my expectations are pretty reliable :P Pizza, cake, ice cream, family.

But when people ask me what I want to do or what I want to get, I don't know what to tell them anymore. I don't want to seem all depressed about this and I don't like to linger on it too long. But its frustrating. People tell me "do something fun you deserve it!" but what am I supposed to do? Im drawing a blank here. :] pizza it is.

New Experiences

Sunday, for my dad's birthday, we went to this Lebanese eatery. It was a cute little restaurant and they're known for their good, healthy food and vegetarian options. My dad ordered a sampler type thing for an appetizer and we tried everything. I was so excited, haha. We tried hummos, tabouli, falaffel, baba, and dawali.
Hummos: Puree of chickpeas, tahini, and lemon topped with fresh herbs and extra virgin olive oi

Tabouli: A delicate mixture of parsley, onions, cracked wheat and tomatoes seasoned with extra virgin olive oil, lemon and herbs.

Falaffel: Mildly spiced vegetarian patties made with chick peas, fava beans, parsley, and scallions. Fried in peanut oil and served with Tahini Yogurt sauce.

Baba: Puree of charbroiled eggplant, tahini, garlic, and lemon topped with fresh herbs and extra virgin olive oil.

Dawali: Grape leaves stuffed with rice, chick peas, tomato, and parsley, topped with Aladdin's dressing, feta cheese and parsley.

The menu was challenging because we didn't know what anything really was. But if you took your time and read everything, it wasn't too difficult. I ended up ordering a rolled lamb toasted pita. I ended up not really liking it, haha, but between the appetizers and trying everyone else's food, I survived.

It was really cool to go someplace so different and try new things.

Afterwards we came back home for vegan chocolate cake, which was awesome.

Here we go again

I know last year I was all "yeah new decade! im going to blog the whole thing!"
And I know it never happened, haha.

But I really, honestly, do what to get into the habit again. I feel like I'm jotting my life down like the internet is a pad of post it notes and I want them all to be in one easily accessible place. On facebook or in chats they may get lost forever. So I'm going to attempt to blog at least once a week about my life.

In most recent news, I got a job! I am now a sandwich artist (/dishwasher/prepper/cleaner/everything) at a Subway. I am attending a community college and so far enjoying my classes (pilates and spanish are fun) and I want to go to Lake Erie College for therapeutic horsemanship but haven't gotten my transcripts in (thank you, community college for making this as difficult as possible) so I don't have a "decision" yet. They have to DECIDE if they want me. haha

So there. I'm off to a good start :P

sdfsfghrtdhgs

Spring Break has actually been a really nice break from school xD I LOVE school but it was nice to step back and just not have it for a week. I still had track every day so I still had that school influence xD But it was good. Monday I had a friend come over for a while and we had a good time. She had been kind of upset about stuff so I tried to cheer her up :] we had fun. We baked cupcakes and went for a 3 mile walk on accident xD aaand made nasty spaghetti and watched a cute chick flick, haha. fun times.

Speaking of track, its been going great. I started out practicing with distance runners and then my photo teacher/head coach told me to try throwing. My throwing coach told me I'm a natural so I've been sticking with that - but I still run the 800 meters in meets as well as throwing. My best 800 time so far is 3:40, and my only goals are to consistently get better and to beat at least one other person before the end of the season. :] being the last to cross the finish line doesn't bother me as long as I beat my own time and/or know that I did my best. Throwing is pretty fun. I love the coach, he's cool and a really good teacher. Plus all the kids on the throwing team are really awesome :] not that the rest of the track team isnt ;] but i love the throwers haha.

I feel like life is kind of in slow motion, even though its probably going by faster than ever. It's strange but I have moments where something hits me and I'm like "wow I should have done this already." College and my drivers license are two biggies. I dont know why I can't make myself get into gear about this stuff. I know I HAVE to because times a tickin' but then I just zone out and put it off. I don't even know how to describe it really.

I have been missing horses a lot lately. Its pretty sad. I had a couple dreams, wrote a couple poems, haha. But that doesn't really help me. Horses are what I love and I miss them a whole lot. It makes me sad :[ So i try not to think about it. I also have not been taking any pictures lately and that is messed up. I want to buy a new camera but I dont have money. So I need to get a job... but i dont have time to work. So im waiting. For what, I don't know... but. Theres just a ton of stuff going on, it feels like.

Hey guess what, Im getting a new brother in September :]

Finally, I dont appreciate this weather. It was in the upper 80s on tuesday and it SNOWED today. Ohio, no one loves you.

These are the fast times

I was a part of the high school musical my school did this year. They chose Godspell. At first I was a little skeptical, but as practices continued, they became the best parts of my day. Singing, dancing and running around on stage with a bunch of great people is the best, haha.
We had a little difficulty in the beginning but after a couple of bumps, it was pretty much smooth sailing. We all loved this play so much and it showed in the end.
It was so much fun! and by the end we were all basically one big family. After our last performance everyone started crying, haha. Im not usually the kind of person who likes to cry in front of others but it was quite the bonding experience xD I miss it already though :[ i woke up in the middle of the night thinking about the musical somehow xD i dont know how that works, but it happened, haha
I had so much fun and like my music teacher said, we'll always be connected to this play and to each other. I made some great friends, Im just sad it had to happen after my last year of school is almost over, haha. :[
Ill still see them at school though :] and some of them in track as well, so im still excited about that,
but its all coming to an end so quickly, its scary sometimes,

gymnastics update

I joined the gymnastics team in late October. I hadn't done it since I was really little but I wanted to get into it again and be active over the winter. I made a lot of progress, and I had a lot of fun. Even though I wasn't that great, I was still treated equally as a member of the team. The coaches were nice and helpful, and made it fun. Not all the girls were the kind of people I would hang out with outside of the sport but we were still a team. I started out a little reluctant after I found out practice was almost every day. Then as I adjusted I got more and more used to it and I really improved. I didn't think I would be competing at all since I wasn't that great, but I ended up competing in every competition and through that I learned how to keep calm and do my best when people are watching and judging me. It was a really cool experience. It lasted until mid-February. By then we were all starting to get a bit restless, and ready for it to end. There was a lot of drama going on with a lot of the girls and I was ready for a change. We had one big last meet, when we went to sectionals, and then it was all over. haha
it was a great experience. :]
My highest score was aaa 6.2 i think? something like that
6.3 maybe
i dont remember
in the sixes
i was pretty psyched.
but im also glad its over
I signed up for track now xD i think it will go better

crazy little thing called love

This past week has been freakin' insane! All week, I've gone straight from school to gymnastics for two hours, then back to school for play practice for two hours and finally back home. Except Thursday when i stayed at school an extra hour for a financial aid presentation and theennn had to go to Pat Catans to get some stuff. I was dead tired by the weeks' end, haha.

Gymnastics has been pretty decent. We didn't have a team to compete against so the other new kids and I had to compete on the balance beam. It was pretty bad, haha. I didn't think I'd be "competing" at all so this week was kind of a panic, trying to get it down and dreading the meet on Saturday. I wasn't ready, and I really didn't want to do it, but I did anyways. I was so nervous I messed up my mount and then i was shaking really badly. I fell off twice and then my dismount sucked. After it was over I got that brief moment where I got so worked up my chest kind of constricted and I couldn't breathe for a couple seconds. Buuut other than that, it went well. Because I wasnt competing in anything else thank goodness! haha.

Play practice has been super fun. Its one of the best parts of my day actually. - that and seventh period choir. :P We're doing Godspell and at first I was a little reluctant because it seemed weird and I'm a member of The Company, meaning I'm kind of like an extra I guess. Then we started working on it and its really fun. Im looking forward to watching it come together :] We only have a month and a half but at the rate we're going Im not too terribly worried.

Im happy we have tomorrow off school :] Im not excited about midterms, and i havent really studied for anything but geometry yet. :[ Maybe Im just being paranoid but im afraid im going to do badly and hurt my grades. I got honor roll last quarter and thats something id like to keep up, haha.

Did I mention Im student of the month? :]

In other news, college is being as obnoxiously stressful as ever. I dont know what Im going to do, and im kinda freaking out. Just when I think i know what I want, someone says something and i become unsure again. Its obnoxious. To add to everyting, my dad said he couldn't find very many colleges in Ohio where I could get a Bachelors degree in photography. One of them was the school downtown I went to last week for the Scholastics Art Competition display. Thats probably the closest one but the drive isnt a pleasant one and its a sketchy part of down town and it wouldnt be very enjoyable to be there. haha.
SO I DONT KNOW. T_T I wish there was a magic button i could press that would make it all better.
One day I'll get over it. haha

wake up call

I am sooo sleepy right now, haha. I babysat until 12 last night then had to get up relatively early for church. Fun times. xD
After church we went to the Cleveland Institute of Art where there was some kind of opening reception for the Scholastics Art and Writing contest and where all the art was on display. I feel like I didn't get very much information on this thing, haha. Apparently there was some kind of ceremony where they called all the gold key winners up and we missed that. We weren't even that late, but... it was strange. But I got a certificate and a little gold key pin. We looked everywhere for my photos and didn't see any of them. Turns out they were showing the portfolios on a slide show in some random dark room in the corner. Maybe I was just really tired, but it was kind of weird. To me, not all the gold key portfolios were really amazing. I expected them to all be really really good and some of them just made me go "...what? that won?" But whatever. I'll find out how my portfolio did at the national competition in March or April...

All year I've just been assuming I'll go to the cheapo community college for my first two years so i can get the extra stuff out of the way and I won't have to take any of those big scary sounding tests :P But this lady we ran into that we used to go to church with said I shouldnt waste my time there, I should go to a four year college right away. I don't know what i want to do really. My brain kind of shuts down when I think about college, haha. I have a lot of reasons for wanting to go to the community college, but it would be nice to go to an official art school too. My mom says if I can get scholarships I shouldnt limit myself to community college right now. Apparently this gold key is supposed to be really amazing and everyone's going to want to let me to go to their school :P haha. If I only I KNEW where I want to go! I'm not ruling community college out yet... ugh. I don't want to think about it. xD But i know i have to.

Whyy does the alarm have to go off so early tomorrow? haha. i love school. i dread my alarm x_x maybe ill go to bed now. haha