disapointments - an angsty rant

Guess what I didn't do yesterday?
I didn't exercise or even do a body test.
One empty day on the calendar for me.

Why do people even make resolutions anyways? In most cases they're just setting themselves up for disapointment. Of course people WANT to be better in the new year but telling themselves that they have to OR ELSE (or else what?) just doesn't seem to work. On the radio last week they were saying that most people break their resolutions by the second week of January. Well here I am. lol. I'm doing really well with my photography resolution though, I'm still posting a photo every day and on top of that I signed up for Project Pentad to post a photo one day a week. Everybody gets a different day and there's four other people. Its awesome. And you know you want to check it out.

So I haven't completely let myself down I guess. :P

Another disappointment has been OHVA - the school I switched to after my sanity was threatened with OHDELA. I made the decision to switch to OHVA so I have no problem taking the blame for my own disapointments. The pieces just aren't fitting together or something. I'm not finding what I want to get out of school. (which would be: to WANT to learn and understand and enjoy it, as opposed to sleeping my way through boring classes and trudging along dragging my feet. maybe i'm expecting too much?) To make things worse, I found out that I got behind and would have to either graduate late or pay for summer school. We can't afford summer school so it would be graduating late for me.

Here's a little random fact about me: I hate being late. I dont care if its to an appointment, to babysit, or to graduate. Lateness drives me up the wall. It makes me a little anxious and it bugs me.

To add to my pile of complaints, I didn't really like any of my teachers except my History teacher (usually history teachers are the coolest) He was nice, gave me suggestions and compliments about my work and recognized that I was trying to do my best. The curiculum wasn't my favorite but my teacher was awesome.

My photography teacher wasn't actually a photographer and only taught the class because she teaches ALL the art classes. I take that back, she didn't teach anything. She read us the pages and enjoyed looking at our pictures. And she talked to us like we were little kids which ALSO drives me up the wall. I did learn one or two nifty gimp tricks with it but the class was so slow, I could have finished the entire semester in one week. I'm not exadgerating.

My French class was the biggest disapointment though. I went into this semester SO excited about my cool new classes and I was so thrilled to start French. I picked up on it really quick at first, and enjoyed the evening classes my teacher did. But as soon as it started getting more complex the program they used didn't explain things well enough and my teacher (who lives in like DC or something, NOT Ohio) wasn't ever there. She teaches at "real" school during the day so she had so much on her plate she had to stop doing the online classes. I'm surprised I even passed. But I started to hate French because it was so confusing and I felt like my teacher should have been able to take advantage of my excitement and teach me and the rest of my class on a regular basis so that we would enjoy it.

Its not a secret that I would really prefer to go to a good "brick and mortar" school. But I know that I won't so I want online school to be as good as possible and I didn't really like this past semester much. It was okay at first but things just started going down hill.

My mom was talking to a lady at ski-club (which i gave up for photography class T_T) who teaches for another online school called Ohio Connections Academy. They allow students to work ahead and create their own personal education goals. So I could finally get ahead to where I'm supposed to be. I was a little optimistic about the DRIVERS ED class but apparently its not really drivers ed, its just a class learning about "the reality of driving". Bummer. But still, getting to where I'm supposed to be grade wise is more important to me than confusing teachers, teachers who arent really there, and unfortunately the awesome teacher. I might be switching mid-semester so we'll see how it goes.

Maybe if I'm just really pessimistic things will work out? lol